Twelve brides and grooms throw their hats and bouquets in the air in front of Tower Bridge in London, 21 August 2003 to celebrate the London landmark receiving a wedding license.
Photo: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

The institution of marriage has taken quite a beating in recent years.

It is perhaps no wonder that it has a tarnished image and that young people have steered away from it in droves. What with constant reports of couples engaged in bitter conflict while carrying a huge mortgage and a clutch of unmanageable kids, onlookers could be pardoned for deciding they want no part of it.

Yet, it appears, through interviews, that a majority of the younger generation still look on a secure, close and committed relationship as being the ideal. After all, it is natural that we prefer a caring, loyal, loving relationship that lasts.

Why not a private agreement?

Moving in to live together is a loose arrangement which is prevalent nowadays. It puts caution before commitment and openness before obligation. Sometimes marriage is envisaged for later on; for others a ceremony means nothing. A marriage certificate is only a piece of paper, they say.

But living together without being married can be just as rough as a bad marriage. True, escape from the arrangement might seem easier, but simple it is usually not. What about guilt, blame, heartache, memories, revenge, the future or Children? Why, we hear daily about upset people from this arrangement just as we do from unhappy marriages.

Relationships don’t just happen, they are built

We want care, love, trust, loyalty and support, as we said earlier. If we, as couples, can give these things to each other, then we will not be afraid of full commitment. If we stop short of full commitment, we betray our lack of trust, our lack of true, unconditional love, our temporary loyalty, our selfish preservation of secret, individualistic options. Living together without marriage is a poor substitute for the real thing. It is holding back the very things that can make a relationship a really good one.

To quote the cost of a wedding as the reason not to marry is an excuse. It is possible to have a satisfactory wedding without spending a fortune. It can be done.

Why not have the commitment without marriage?

My question is; why not with marriage? If trust is there, prove it by publicly saying so. Marriage is more than ‘getting a piece of paper.’ It is saying before God and man that this woman, this man, is exclusively yours in the closest of all partnerships. It also declares that you want other people to witness the sealing of your contract, and that you are so fair dinkum about it that you will solemnly vow it before God and your relatives and friends. You are deliberately choosing the course ‘till death us do part’ and those relatives and friends can now support you wholeheartedly in your journey.

Being blessed

We read how Jesus gave His blessing to a marriage that He attended in Israel. Not surprising, since God invented marriage and blessed the very first one. His blessing has been on countless marriages since that day and the happiness that people have experienced can never be computed.

Having the blessing of God on the whole of your life is of utmost importance. Without it, your life can stray anywhere. To gain God’s blessing means to bring yourself and all your affairs under His rulership; to give the Lord Jesus first place in your life. When we submit to the rule of the One who made us, we can expect life to be different, and it is. Committing ourselves to Christ as our Saviour and Lord is the most significant commitment of all.