In September we have a date for dads. A time to let them know they’re
special. A few kisses and a little pile of masculine- looking gifts mark the
All of the above is given on this day,
except for the dads that are missing.
I mean those who have become fathers
but have then disappeared into smoke
to leave the lady with the job of
raising the child. Then there are
others who have tired of their
relationship and want out.
Maybe someone brighter has
the horizon, so out
with the old and in with the new.
It’s so common these days.
appears that for many being
“in love” is just a feeling, something
like having a headache, only pleasant.
It may not last — who knows. So don’t make any long-term
commitments, just hang loose.
For all who have “been there, done that,” being in love is joy
that defies description. The real thing seems more heavenly than earthly. But
look at the same pair, once starry-eyed, now bleary-eyed, ten, twenty,
thirty, years on. Their love, which once seemed like a healthy fruit on a
growing vine, is now a shrivelled-up dead thing hardly worth talking
Separations and divorces occur most often because couples feel that the joy of
being together has gone. Living under the same roof spells boredom. There is
little or no expression of affection. They annoy each other for the most
trivial reasons. He is too busy to take an interest in her. As one writer put
it, “He works like a horse and she nags.” When they think about
each other, they think in negatives.
Though it sounds difficult, before it’s too late, a couple like this
must begin talking about it to each other — constructively. If only an
honest sharing of feelings and inner needs can take place, there is hope. When
each knows clearly where the other person is, a choice must be made: to build
up the other person, or to tear them down; to face the challenge or to run
OK men, what about taking some initiative here? Give her some compliments
instead of insults, some appreciation instead of criticism, and sympathy
instead of bitterness. This kind of soil encourages love to grow again. The
old days of courting, wooing and winning can begin once more. The days of
responding, admiring and accepting can return for the wife.
Yes, it is a choice. We can use our “changed feelings” as an
excuse for our rejection and fail to recognise that our selfishness is the
problem. Love is concerned for the welfare of another. Love that has a
dimension of self-giving for the benefit of the other is like the divine love.
It is unconditional, sacrificial love that Jesus showed in suffering and dying
in our place.
This is the kind of love that lasts because it will not easily give in and is
determined to bless. Loving and being loved is priceless. Go for it!