by Peter Crawford
His, Hers, or Ours
Often marriages bring together opposite personality types together. In these situations it is not easy to see beyond the differences and begin working toward common goals as a team, but it can be done.
In a marriage, there should be no “my money” and “your money” or “my debts” and “your debts.” There should be only our money and our debts.
A couple cannot be one if they are constantly separating their lives by separating their finances.
Maintaining separate accounts can lead to a him-versus-her mentality.
Unwillingness to join all assets and bank accounts after marriage is perhaps a danger signal that unresolved trust issues could still be lingering in the relationship.
A marriage is not a 50/50 relationship, as many people think. It is a 95/5 relationship on both sides. Each must be willing to yield 95 percent of their rights to their spouses. If they are not willing to do that, it will not work. No viable marriage can survive a him-vs-her relationship for long, because it is totally contrary to God’s plan.
From the beginning of mankind, God intended for man and woman to “become one flesh” in marriage (Genesis chapter 2, verse 24). He was not just talking about the physical sense. God created marriage as the highest, most honoured, most intimate of all human relationships.
Practically speaking, however, only one person should keep the books.
And even though one person primarily handles balancing the cheque book, both should be fully trained and able to do it. The couple might decide to switch these responsibilities every six months or so.
It is also best for both to be involved in paying the monthly bills. Doing so will keep both partners fully aware of their financial status.
Within a marriage relationship the husband and wife are partners who are dedicated to one another. A bond of uncompromising devotion creates a healthy atmosphere for togetherness, especially in managing money.
Just as it takes two to make a marriage successful, it takes two to establish a clear line of communication in financial planning.
Courtesy Crown Financial Ministries